Joe really missed Mindy on days when he was marching in the hot sun or cold rain, with his riffle on his shoulder. At least they didn’t make him carry his rifle, though, because rifles could shoot people, and even though the government told him it was patriotic to shoot people, they understood that messing up people’s hair or disturbing their water or flipping the pages of their book was much less traumatic for their soldiers and much more frustrating to the enemy. The government was good like that.
[Yes, ‘riffle’ is a word, no, a ‘riffle’ is not a gun. But hey, it’s all good, Joe gets to carry around a conceptualized riffle!]